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by Marriott Edgar (1933)
Illustrations by John Hassall
Three Ha'Pence a Foot is another story about Noah and his Ark, and includes a term which may not be familiar to everybody: 'long bacon'.
Giving a 'long bacon' is an insulting two-handed version of 'cocking a snook'. To 'cock a snook' is to touch the tip of your nose with your thumb whilst wiggling the extended fingers of the same hand, in the direction of the person you wish to insult. The 'long bacon' version is the same, but for additional emphasis, the thumb of the other hand touches the little finger of the first hand.
The words presumably derive from:
In the same way that sticking out the tongue and uttering a "muuurrr!" of derision and contempt, both 'cocking a snook' and giving a 'long bacon' are considered childish gestures; unless you've just parked your car in the last available parking space and noticed the fella you were competing with is your ex-boss who made you redundant last month. In this case, cocking a snook makes the job loss well worthwhile.
I'll tell you an old-fashioned story In a shop on the banks of the Irwell, One day, Sam were filling a knot 'ole Sam asked Noah what was 'is business, 'E'd gotten the wood for the bulwarks, Now Maple were Sam's monopoly; | |
"A ha'penny too much," replied Noah But neither would budge in the bargain; In wrath and ill-feeling they parted, It rained and it rained for a fortni't, The 'ouses were soon under water, The rain showed no sign of abating, |
Sam stood on tower top |
So Sam started swimming to Blackpool; 'E stood to 'is watch-chain in water, They stared at each other in silence, Noah said "Nay; I'll make thee an offer, "Three ha'pence a foot," came the answer. Noah cruised around, flying 'is pigeons, |
'Is chin just stuck out of the water; Said Noah: "Ye'd best take my offer; "Three ha'pence a foot it'll cost yer, |
Sam's chin stuck out of the water |