One evening at dusk as Noah stood on his Ark,
Putting green oil in starboard side lamp,
His wife came along and said, "Noah, summat's wrong,
Our cabin is getting quite damp."
Noah said, "Is that so?" Then he went down below,
And found it were right what she'd said,
For there on the floor quite a puddle he saw,
It was slopping around under t' bed.
Said he, "There's an 'ole in the bottom somewhere,
We must find it before we retire."
Then he thowt for a bit, and he said "Aye, that's it,
A bloodhound is what we require."
Se he went and fetched bloodhound from place where it lay,
'Tween the skunk and the polecat it were,
And as things there below, were a trifle so-so,
It were glad of a breath of fresh air.
They followed the sound as it went sniffing round,
'Til at last they located the leak,
'Twere a small hole in the side, about two inches wide,
Where a swordfish had poked in its beak.
And by gum! how the wet squirted in through that hole,
Well, young Shem who at sums was expert,
Worked it out on his slate that it came at the rate,
Of per gallon, per second, per squirt.
The bloodhound tried hard to keep water in check,
By lapping it up with his tongue,
But it came in so fast through that hole, that at last,
He shoved in his nose for a bung.
The poor faithful hound, he were very near drowned,
They dragged him away none too soon,
For the stream as it rose, pushed its way up his nose,
And blew him up like a balloon.
And then Mrs Noah shoved her elbow in t'hole,
And said, "Eh! it's stopped I believe,"
But they found very soon as she'd altered her tune,
For the water had got up her sleeve.