Kippers for tree
The ones that got away
Sam knocked at door and servant girl said,
"Step inside the hall,
The King and Queen is out," says she,
"But not for thee, Sam Small."
And so with Sturgeon in his arms
Sam tramped up corridor,
He trailed along some passages
And knocked at parlour door.
"Come in," says King,
So Sam went in with Royal fish and all.
"Why dash me buttons," cries the King
"If it isn't old Sam Small."
"That's me," said Sam, "and 'ere's a fish
Our policeman said were thine;
A Sturgeon caught in Ship Canal
With rod and hook and line."
"Well, well," said King, "come sit thee down,
Tha' must be fair done up.
We just were going to have us teas,
Tha'll stay and have a sup?"
"Thanks, King," said Sam and takes a seat
With fish upon his knee.
"Nay, put that thing on sofa, Sam," says King,
"And have thy tea."
"Now what about this fish?" asks Sam,
But King he whispers low,
"I'm going to tell thee something, Sam,
But don't let policeman know.
"l hate to show ingratitude
And please don't think me mean,
But I never did like Sturgeon, Sam,
Nor, come to that, does Queen.
"To eat the stuff we hate so much
Well, Sam, we find it hard;
So we hand 'em to the Chamberlain
Who stacks them in back yard.
"Just thee look out that window, Sam,
And see where t'Sturgeons go."
Sam looked at yard and saw 'em all
In thousands in a row.
"It's champion seeing thee again,
But Sam twixt me and thee
I can't stand Sturgeons
But I love a kipper to me tea."
"Now fancy that," says Sam, "by gum,
why them's my favourite fish."
And then the Queen came smiling in,
With kippers on the dish.
"Do you know Sam Small, my dear?" says King.
Queen says "Why, yes, yes, yes,
Just touch the bell and tell our James
To bring more watercress."
"Think on," says King when tea were done
And Sam got up to go,
"Kippers is what I like for tea
But don't let the policeman know."
So Sam went home to Lancashire
And said a silent prayer,
With blessings on the kippered fish
"Long live the Royal Pair."