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by Marriott Edgar (1937)
Illustrations by John Hassall
Albert and the 'Eadsman is a monologue written by Marriott Edgar (expanded later by Weston and Lee's With Her Head Tucked Underneath Her Arm).
For Blackpuddlians in the 1930's a visit to London was more than a day trip - it was an expedition! And wise folk such as the Ramsbottoms wouldn't embark on such a quest without packing adequate slices of toast smeared with dripping left over from the Sunday roast.
Dripping is still popular for its taste, although contemporary nutritionists warn against consuming too much because of the high-calorie and high-fat.
Ghosts, it seems from the following poem, are concerned about this too!
On young Albert Ramsbottom's birthday
His parents asked what he'd like most;
He said to see t' Tower of London
And gaze upon Anne Boleyn's ghost.
They thowt this request were unusual
And at first to refuse were inclined,
'Til Pa said a trip t' metrollopse
Might broaden the little lad's mind.
They took charrybank up to London
And got there at quarter to fower,
Then seeing as pubs wasn't open
They went straight away to the tower.
They didn't think much to the buildin'
'T weren't what they'd been led to suppose,
And the 'Bad Word' Tower didn't impress them,
They said Blackpool had got one of those.
At last Albert found a Beefeater
And filled the old chap with alarm.
By asking for Ghost of Anne Boleyn
As carried her 'ead 'neath her arm.
Said Beefeater 'You ought to come Fridays
If it's ghost of Anne Boleyn you seek,
Her union now limits her output
And she only gets one walk a week.
'But,' he said, 'if it's ghosts that you're after,
There's Lady Jane Grey's to be seen,
She runs around chased by the 'Eadsman
At midnight on th' old Tower Green.'
They waited on t' green till near midnight,
Then thinking they'd time for a sup,
They took out what food they'd brought with them
And waited for t' ghost to turn up.
On the first stroke of twelve, up jumped Albert,
His mouth full of cold, dripping toast,
With his stick with the 'orses 'ead 'andle
He pointed, and said 'Here's the ghost!'
Waiting for the ghost to turn up |
They felt their skins going all goosey The 'Eadsman chased Jane round the grass patch He suddenly caught sight of Albert At that, Mother rose, taking umbridge; |
The brave little lad stood undaunted 'T were a proper set-back for the 'Eadsman When Pa saw the way as they vanished Some say 'twere the drippin' as done it, And around Tower Green, from that moment, |
Slapping dripping toast on face |
char-á-banc: A large bus with open sides and no centre aisle. Used for sightseeing tours.