Did you hear the one about...

Heaven (2)


What is Heaven, and where is it?

Christians don't seem to know where it is, but they know how to get in.

Going to Heaven

Pearly gates

The old man died and went to Heaven. When he got to the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer three questions:

  1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
  2. How many seconds are in a year?
  3. What is God's first name?

The man thought for a few minutes and answered:

  1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow."
  2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
  3. God has two first names and they are Andy and Howard.

Saint Peter said, "OK I'll buy Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, your answer is correct. But how did you get 12 seconds in a year and why did you ever think that God's first name was Andy and Howard?"

The man responded, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc......"

"OK, I give" said Saint Peter, "but what about the God's first name stuff?"

The man said "Well, from the song... Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own... and the prayer... Our Father who art in Heaven, Howard be Thy name...."

Saint Peter let him in without further ado.

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