The Bear
If you go down to the woods today, you're in for a big surprise.
Especially if you're an atheist!
(Note: God doesn't believe in atheists, therefore atheists don't exist.)
An atheist is walking alone through a thick forest, admiring all the nature that had evolved of the millennia, when suddenly he hears a noise behind him. Turning to look, he sees a huge grizzly towering over him. Heart thumping, he realizes that ready or not, his life is about to come to an abrupt and rather unpleasant end.
As the big bad bear roars and raises both front paws in the air, the atheist falls to his knees and screams, "Oh my God!"
Time immediately stands still. The bear freezes as a statue, birds and insects stop in mid-flight, nothing moves - except for the pounding of the atheist's heart. A bright light appears in the sky and God's voice booms down: "You have not believed in me all your life, yet now you cry out my name for help. In your final moments, do you now believe I exist?"
The atheist lowers his head and admits, "God, you are right. I am a sinner. It would be wrong of me to beg for forgiveness at this time.” "I am a loving God" answers the voice, "but if you don't want my help, well, it's entirely up to you."
The atheist thinks for a while. "Perhaps you could make the bear a Christian? Then it will be a good bear." he asks. "So be it!" says God.
Movement and sound resume. The bear gently lowers its paws, bows its head in prayer and says in a soft, reverent voice:
"Lord, for this food which I am about to receive, I am truly thankful."
